Dear Annie: I feel like I wasted my talents


Dear Anne: Without wanting to sound arrogant, I’m smarter than the average bear. Not quite a genius but definitely up there. I won all kinds of academic awards in school and have three degrees.

But my problem is this: I am now 48 years old, a mother of two children with special needs. I spent most of my life being their caregiver (which I don’t blame them at all as they needed help and I am their mother) and a full time housewife. I feel kind of let down, like I wasted my talent. I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like I was given this talent and didn’t use it to the fullest.

Am I responsible for using my donations? Did I let myself and/or others down because I didn’t really do it? Should I set myself a goal, and if so, which one? — Really not pretentious

Dear Really Not Vain: No, you haven’t let anyone down. You have raised two children and created a loving home. So please stop beating yourself up for not chasing all your dreams yet. You are only 48 years old. There is still plenty of time. Many famous writers and artists started after 40 – although it’s not about chasing fame. It’s about honoring the part of yourself that wants to shine more light on the world. I can’t tell you what your specific goal should be, because I don’t know what’s in your heart. But you should make it a priority to dedicate time to your creativity, journaling, drawing, taking a class – doing whatever nourishes the part of yourself that you think has been undernourished until now. now. You won’t be satisfied until you do.

Dear Anne: I had never had any vision problems until recently. My job is to stare at a computer screen for eight hours a day. That’s a lot of blue light! My distance vision is still good, but my near vision is suffering. Would wearing corrective glasses while working on the computer help me? I want to be proactive about this so I can prevent further sight loss. — Blinded by Blue

Dear Blindside by Blue: You are wise to be vigilant about your vision. For many of us, good eyesight was one of those things we didn’t know until it was gone. First and foremost, you should consult an optometrist. Generally, using a computer causes nearsightedness or nearsightedness, so it is important that you have farsightedness.

In addition to seeing an eye doctor, here are some tips: When working, make sure you are not staring at your monitor and staring at something in the distance for about 20 seconds and blinking rapidly. Do this preferably every 10 minutes but at least every 20 minutes. There are web browser plug-ins that will remind you to take those breaks.

Keep your monitor at least 20 inches from your face.

Adjust the brightness of the monitor so that it is close to the brightness of your surroundings.

Adjust the color temperature of your monitor so that it is warmer, which will cause less fatigue.

Continue to pay attention to any changes in your vision. Your peepers are precious.

Dear Reader: Annie Lane is off this week. Today’s column originally published in 2019.

See previous columns “Dear Annie”

“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book form. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]



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